Why Gratitude is the Key to Unlock Everything

People are remarkably forgiving. Given enough time and contrition, we will often forgive people of very terrible sins. Again, the time and contrition are essential to that forgiveness. 

Why?

Celebrities and musical artists and even politicians can often recover from terrible missteps–if given time and ample remorse.

However, there is one sin we humans have a tough time forgiving–even after long periods of time. When people are perceived as ungrateful, we have a tough time letting that go. 

Why is that? Because ingratitude says, “You need me more than I need you.” It says we aren’t appreciated or even valued. 

That’s why the central thread found in every individual, company, organization, or place of worship is always gratitude. 

Gratitude is the key that unlocks The Chummy Effect.

We know some of you were hoping for something a little sexier than that. So were we, until we realized how silently explosive gratitude is. It might even seem like gratitude is the same as satisfaction, but it’s not. Nothing is so attractive and so counter-cultural as a grateful individual, a grateful organization, or a grateful leader. 

It isn’t surprising that nearly every major faith tradition elevates gratitude. The Bible repeatedly calls us to give thanks–more than any other exhortation. Other religions do the same in their own ways. Apparently, people have noticed for thousands of years that gratitude changes the person who practices it.

Gratitude transforms the grateful. In turn, the grateful become the kind of people who make others feel wanted. And because it is one of our deepest-felt spiritual needs–that is, feeling wanted–people are irresistibly attracted to what and where and who makes us feel it.

One teacher who is grateful for her students can transform lives. One employee who is grateful for the job can change the morale of a company. And one boss or leader or university president who is grateful for their team can change the world. 

People need to feel wanted, and they become fiercely loyal to whatever or whomever provides that. 

We know that sounds a bit woo-woo and philosophical, but think of it in practical terms. 

As kids, we can remember the dreaded nightmare of standing in the cafeteria with a tray filled with food, but no place to sit. It might be the most sickening feeling of high school. Often, we settle for an empty table, hoping someone might join us–not so much for the company, but so we won’t look so obviously alone. 

This all-too common nightmare is easy to relegate to our self-conscious youth. (Many of us would rather have bamboo shoved up our fingernails than to return to those high school days.) 

But the truth is, we often still feel that way in the waiting room at our doctor’s office. We often feel that way walking into an unfamiliar and empty store. We might even feel that way entering a church–either a new one to us or even one we’ve attended for a while. 

The point is, we know what it is to feel unwanted, and we instinctively make it our solemn vow not to subject ourselves to that feeling again. We simply won’t come back. 

Often, our experience may not be so noxious as to feel unwanted. However, we rarely feel as if someone is truly grateful we stopped in. That likely describes most places, but the outcome is the same. We may come back, but we won’t be excited about it. And if someone wants us, we are glad for the greener pastures elsewhere. 

One might argue that everyone wants our business. Everyone wants our money, our donations, our social media clicks. Isn’t that enough? 

Likewise, doesn’t everyone want people who are good employees? Good bosses? Good suppliers? Good word-of-mouthers? Isn’t that good enough? 

No! 

It’s one thing to want others for their usefulness. 

It is an altogether different matter to want them. 

Period.

And people can tell the difference. People don’t merely want to feel needed. They need to feel wanted. 

And that begins and ends with gratitude. 

Gratitude accomplishes three vital things. It makes sense of the past, makes peace with the present, and gives purpose to the future. And gratitude has a way of seeing people as people.  

And gratitude changes everything. 

How? By making people feel wanted. Because, for those with gratitude, people are wanted. 

Think of your favorite restaurant or nail salon or taco truck. Notice how the people express real gratitude: the staff, the manager, pictures on the wall, the clean toilets–everything speaks the same profound truth that you are wanted.

That kind of common thread begins and ends when grateful people act gratefully.